Dear Oyibos,
Telling a black person that their skin is beautiful is only cool the first few times. After that, one begins to feel like a specimen. Stop examining so closely lest you be accused of being infected with jungle fever.
Now on to serious stuff...
Disclaimer: If you get offended by others' opinions, please discontinue reading at this point. This is an unedited un-embellished expression of MY views.
The story My Sister's Keeper is a drastic example of what I am about to discuss but the point is the same - the healthy are being made to suffer for the dying.
Did you know that approximately one-third of Medicare dollars are spent on sick/dying people during the last 7 - 14 days of their lives? My teacher once made that statement in class and I filed it away to the back of my brain thinking...bullshit! That's not possible. Today, I was cleaning out my brain's closet and I realized I never investigated that declaration. So I did. It is true. What a waste!
I guess the reason I was thinking about this was that I did some hospice training at work today. In hospice care, a person knows they are dying and have usually been sent home to die in the most comfortable way possible. At this point, no further drastic measures are being taken to prolong their lives by an oh-so-limited amount of time. I am all for this.
I work in a health care facility. More than 70% of the time, we do not get paid due to insufficient Medicare funds. I wish health care was free in the United States and it was paid for some other way, out of our taxes...or whatever, I wouldn't care so much. However, given that I am a selfish person, when my salary gets ducked because my job cannot afford to pay me, I have to object. I am sure the government can find more money to pour into health care expenses but what is the use anyway? The money is not going where it should be going. By all means, spend money on cancer research or the cure for HIV. Spend it on the children's free hospital or pregnant women. I just don't think 33% of it should be spent on 2 weeks of life. I mean, spend it before it gets to that point and when it gets to that point, err...move on.
The problem is that these decisions are usually left in the hands of irrational grieving family members. I know if it was me, or my mom, or any other loved one lying in that hospital bed, I would want everyone to do all they possibly could. Mind you, I am not saying if a young person was involved in an accident, disconnect the monitors and harvest their organs. I am also not saying that I hate elderly people. However, the body is a not a machine. There is only so much spare part transplanting that you can do at an advanced age that the body can handle. In other words, if an 80 year old patient has lung cancer due to bad choices in life or for whatever other reason, now is not the time to run helter skelter hoping to develop the one pill cure for cancer before that person dies or bump them up on the list of organ recipients. LET THEM DIE... or let me be gentle. Allow them to pass as comfortably as possible. Get hospice care. Begin the grieving process earlier than you would like.
It is understood that sometimes, one wishes they could have given everything they had for one more minute with their 90 year old grandfather. I am sure if it had come to that for me, (it won't because both my grand fathers did me the courtesy of dying in their sleep), I would have felt the same but the point is, you have had enough moments with 90 year old grand pa. Stop regretting. If 90 year old grand pa needed to say something, he would appear to you as a ghost. Or in your dream. Or something. Conduct a séance if you have to. At least, it would be cheaper than spending money on prolonging life.
When I was younger, I asked my dad when he would like to die and he told me hopefully he could pass in his sleep around the time he became a burden. I remember thinking I might be young then and why would he leave me fatherless? Selfish thoughts, right? Anyway, I now understand what he meant. When you get old, remember it is a part of the process. Do not guilt your family members into keeping you around for 7 more days. PASS AWAY IN PEACE. They will be sad but I'd rather die and have my loved ones mourn me than have them think "Phew, it is about time. Now Edenadode, can finally go back to school".
I am not God. No one can tell anyone when to pull the plug. Then again, no grieving person is ever really in their right state of mind so maybe an outside party (i.e. me) should make the decision for them. Either way, death is part of life. Allow dying people to die. Sometimes, they even want to but can't tell you because of all the machines you have plugged into their hearts, mouths and arms. I don't mean to be insensitive. I'm just saying: "Don't make the living suffer...because you are trying to hold on to people who are 5 minutes to the grave."
Somberly...Leeza.
