The Power of Female Friends

Quite a formal title I must admit but it helps me get straight to the point. Being in Nigeria is hard for me mostly because I had been gone for 7 years to the day  and I feel like I am here all on my own. I miss my friends who helped me for the times I was in the abroad of somewhere (as my Igbo coworker calls it). I miss how being alone didn't make me feel lonely. In lagos, I am surrounded by family and I would still feel lonely. My high school friends and I have mostly grown apart. It is hard to keep my NYSC camp friends because before I met them, they had friends, they have boyfriends, they live far away. Sometimes a girl just wants to do girl things but she has to do guy things. 

An upside to the sad state, I went to a baby shower today. It was amazing to the say the least. WOMAN POWER!!! different generations. People were so open, I even saw a different Nigeria today. I had fun and it was semi-wholesome. I went there with my sister and her friends, if you don't have friends borrow some. They dumped me at the end of the day but it was good times and a good day!!!

I love Nigeria, sometimes :)

Shola

BUSTED

No money in lagos leads to boredom. NOTHING is free - you can't even go to the beach for free - which was what i did last sunday (valentine's day) thank God the craze is over. The day also came with a heightened awareness of myself and it came in a not-so-nice way.Let me start with the fact that these dudes were talking about not believing in valentine's (BS) .Although, I understand. I have never celebrated valentine's in the commercial way. Well except for that one time in high school and it was pretty awful so I guess I've been tainted for life.

So, I always go on and on about how I like being single and having so many "friends" (dudes) and blah blah. I was called out on it, two of my "friends" happen to be friends. And they are tight. Shoot Me. I felt bad cos I wasn't trying to be a player or anything. Although I consider myself friendly, I am realizing that my friendliness is borderline flirting. As part of my self analysis my best friend asked "do you ask guys out?" and I responded "Never, but I will make it easy for a guy to ask me out" and he goes "that's flirting" so yea people I admit: I'M A FLIRT.

And as much, as I like to be hard, I am emotional I think. I am always feeling bad, too sympathetic at my own cost. I need to be more rational, I could have saved myself from my man troubles. I'll be more discerning, less friendly. I need to get myself together yo.

Thanks for entering my personal space, hope it is interesting.
Shola

The Art of Being a Third Wheel

For those of you who have been confused lately, I do have a co-blogger. We sign our posts so please pay attention before assuming I traveled somewhere I've never been. Thanks. Now on to today's topic...

Valentine's day is around again. First things first, for those of you who have partners willing to take them out and splurge, congratulations. Please do not invite a third wheel whether or not you like the person you are going out with. If you are absolutely uncomfortable with this person you are supposed to spend the evening with, feel free to turn them down. You are not bound by a contract.

On the other hand, I do not care how lonely you are, do not accept an invitation from a friend to accompany her on a date. Even if you think it is not a date, Do Not Go. Besides the fact that the person trying to get to know your friend would be sending you killer looks, you will also end up feeling even lonelier than you were when you were alone.

However, in the event that your roommates are having loud s**, or your house is haunted amongst a myriad other reasons and you just have to go on that date as a third wheel, please remember that you are the unwanted presence as far as one of the other parties is concerned. Do not, by any means, become the center of attention. Here are a three tips to help you be the best third wheel you can be.

- Make sure you have an object on your person that will take up most of your time. If you think you are going to spend the time talking to your friend/her date, you are sorely mistaken. If the date turns out to be charming, your friend might forget you entirely. Thus, charge your ipod or download the deluxe version of that trial version game on your cell phone that you've always wanted to play in full.

- If your outing turns out to include the movies, you are a little bit lucky because you do not have to entertain yourself. However, do not forget your place and lean in towards your friend/her date. Another common mistake is seating such that the date is in between you and your friend. Unless the night is going to end in a three some, please seat on the other side of your friend such that she is in the middle of you and her date. She's the one on the date with both of you after all, the date did not invite you.

- Unless the date insists on paying your way, PLEASE do not hesitate to ask for a separate check. You are only allowed to skip this step if its your friend (who invited you) that's footing the bill. Remember that the date had a set amount he planned to spend on your friend. You are not your friend. Refrain from stretching the date's budget.

There you have it - my personal 2 cents. For all the would-be third wheels, remember that your friend might be inviting you because she feels guilty that you are home alone. It might not necessarily be because she actually wants you to come. Thus, saying no is safer than saying yes. You do not want to be these girls.

Happy 2010. Happy Valentine's Day. Happy Third Wheeling!

Oh and this is Leeza.